The porn program 

I remained silent. It was hard, very hard. But it was my only way out. To remain as silent as stone. He reminded me of Scrooge from Charles Dickens, just as insolent and rude. 

‘I am taking your computer,’ he shouted while he burst into the room and snatched my laptop literally from underneath my hands. I was still typing. And then he ran out again. 

‘But,’ I stammered, ‘I just emailed the writer. I was giving her directions. Now how is she going to get here?’ My colleague obviously had no answer. She was numbed like me. 

He burst back in. ‘And you won’t be getting it back until tomorrow.’ 

Numbed like a dead phone. 

I did get it back the next day. Filled with porn. ‘This is the best program,’ he scowled. 

‘But sir, it is full of porn. I cannot open any program because busty ladies won’t let me.’

‘This is the program we’re using. Because this is the best program.’ 

‘Well, I’m sure you feel that way sir.’ My colleague was waving at me to hold my tong. I had to bite it. Scrooge was on a roll but so was I. I didn’t want to, but somehow the words came out all on their own. I was like a puppet on a string. Unwillingly dangling on another beings whim. Still this was the first job I had in a whole year, I couldn’t afford to lose it. 

‘It is proven. The only program to use.’

A penis flashed at me on the screen. My colleague and I were gesturing Belgian fries underneath the table. They’re so limp they always bent before you bite, so your chin gets smeared with mayonnaise. 

‘From now on we all use this program. No exceptions.’ 

‘Well,’ I say as I fold my hands in my lap, ‘you have caught my attention. If you don’t mind me asking, what is the program called?’ 

‘This.’ He points at my screen. A man and a woman are undoubtedly swapping body fluids. His eyes widen. He startles. And leaves the room without another word. 

‘But sir, is it expensive?’ 

Yeah, I should have remained silent. Like a stone. 

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